are we the smart ones?

someone mentioned today that "we are the smart ones"....
we acknowledge the fact that this is the time of our lives when things are transient...
we are constantly evolving...constantly learning...constantly growing...
starting from the age of 21...we are thrown into the jaws of life and left to fend for ourselves...
we learn how to be independent...we learn to survive...we learn to make do...we learn to co-exist...etc...
we transition from college life to working life...and for some married life...
careers come and go...relationships come and go...
nothing is absolute...nothing is set in stone...at least not yet...
we choose to explore...we choose to break free...we choose to risk it...
why? simply because we are young and this is the best time to explore...

i realize that who i was 10 years ago is different from who i am now...
who i was 5 years ago is different from who i was 10 years ago...
i'm constantly evolving...trying new characters...seeing which one fits...
and its similar with relationships...
we try on men like they're shoes...if they fit then its all good...
if they don't...then its on to the next one...
but u see...things can change too...
i might need something for warmer weather...
i might wear out my old shoe...
then its time to move on to something else...
might not necessarily be something better...but it will be something that fits...
the process just continues...
i jump from one career to another...one man to another...one country to another...
all in search of the one that fits...
i'm not going to commit to one particular thing and revolve around it because life takes us in all sorts of directions...
and now is the best time to do it...

but the question is...are we the smarter ones?
are we getting more out of life than others...or are we just wasting our time?
is it better to commit to one thing and concentrate on it?
cause if it is....i'm screwed :P

facebookmania

this whole facebook thing has gotten way out of hand...
what's the appeal?
is it fun to cyber poke, pinch, prod, smack, punch and throw food at people?
granted...i think its a good way of keeping in touch with friends...
or getting back in touch with long lost friends...
but leaving dinner before the bill comes because you have to go home and feed your facebook pet????
melampau....

our lives are so cyber nowadays that we're losing the personal touch...
we email and instant message instead of call...
we read news online instead of buying a newspaper...
we buy movie tickets online...concert tickets online....etc...
we shop online...
i wonder what's next :P

highs and lows

just like the weather...our waking life has highs and lows...

low of the day: finding out that someone finished my tub of vanilla ice cream...

high of the day: on the couch with a bucket of KFC and the tv showing Man united vs Wigan...

i want it

why is it that sometimes we choose to ignore what's standing right in front of us?
we choose to focus on the ones standing in the background....
the ones that are far away...unreachable...unattainable....
u say something and it just fades into space...
u make a small gesture and its too tiny to notice...
a big gesture will only attract attention and we don't like attention...
at least not from the people that surrounds us...
not from the people who block the view of this shadow lurking in the background...
the way they move...so stealth-like...as if they're just gliding...
is it the mystery of it all that excites us?
is it a strong desire or just a passing one?
why don't they come towards us?
why do they drift further and further away?
eventually they just become a fading memory...
inside we're screaming to be noticed but outside we put on this facade...
a nonchalant look...
maybe that's the problem...
instead of pretending not to notice maybe we're supposed to shout it out loud....
make it known...make it clear that we want that thing in the background...
cause in the end...isn't it better to at least try rather than to not have tried at all?
who knows...we could possibly end up being....happy :P

heart attack

weekends are always fun cause there's soccer...
its not like i'm a major fan of soccer...
i know the rules to the game...
i know the teams...
i know the key players...
ask me anything further than that and i'll just shrug...

but what makes the game more exciting is the stakes...
yes...i am a gambling woman...
so much so that i was watching the juventus game today...
90 minutes and i'm still down 200 bucks...
i stood up...walked to the kitchen and declared to my dad that i give up...
its not gonna happen...juventus is not going to score...
i'm halfway to the kitchen and the commentator got all excited...
i get excited...my dad gets excited...my brother who's locked up in his room upstairs runs downstairs and gets excited...
we all run to the front of the TV....
COME ON...SCORE DAMN IT!!!!!!
and its a GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!
93rd minute...it was amazing...
almost died of a heart attack...so exciting...
funny how the entire 90 minutes was pretty much the same old thing...
22 men kicking a damn ball around a square box...
but the last 1 minute was priceless :)

you made my day :)

its a boring saturday morning...
nothing much is happening at work....
feefs and nottifish were on msn...talking about life...
then nottifish says he needs to photocopy some documents...
feefs requests that he photocopies his hand just for fun...
and voila...this is the result...
life can't get more fun and random than this...


and just when i thought things couldn't get any weirder...
nottifish draws me a swordfish stabbing a shark...

main susah nak dapat?

sometimes when we don't/can't get what we want...we'll want it even more...
and this is exactly why the "play hard to get theory" works...
but what are the rules to the game?
guys tell me that there is definitely an expiry date to the game...
granted...they're not going to be chasing something that can't be caught...
but ya know how attention spans differ from person to person....
so how do you know when is a good time to give up the game and give in?
we are apparently able to plot it out on a graph...
there's an upward rise in interest...
then it is followed by the thrill of the chase which is where it peaks...
but eventually the interest dies as time goes on...

some people say that there's a 3 time rule...
refuse 3 times..then give in...repeat process....
others say that its really subtle...
you can give in as many times as you want...but make sure you leave something to be desired...
its like dangling a carrot in front of a freaking mule...
some say its just a form of taking things slow...
its just that taking things slow has somehow been interpreted as "playing hard to get"...
such a complex game this is...

it has also been stated that guys don't play hard to get...
they are very focused...very straight forward and they go in for the kill immediately...
if they see something they like...they go for it...
they don't pretend and waste time...
oddly enough...i have met some guys who play the game too...
when that happens...its kinda like a stand still...
both people are waiting for something to happen...
but both aren't doing anything about it...

why do people play hard to get anyway?
is it a test?
what is being put to the test? sincerity? faithfulness? determination?
or is it merely a game?
something to keep people on their toes...
something to make things exciting...mysterious...somewhat thrilling...

i find that there's too many mind games being played nowadays...
get to the point...
things will move with more speed and accuracy if people are just honest...
say it as it is...
be yourself...
"i like you"..."you like me"...follow up with a 1 minute embrace...
problem solved :)

where have all the anvils gone?

this whole thing started when i asked "what happened to all the anvils?"...
i mentioned that i wanted one so i can use it to drop on people's heads...
but where do i get one?
its one of those things that were commonly used back in those days...or is it really?
its portrayed in cartoons and movies and comics...
but what happened to them?
were they all collected and melted down when they were no longer needed?
or were they all sent to an anvil museum deep in the country side of some relatively unknown scandanavian town....?
or did they never exist at all?

and what happened to curtsies?
women used to curtsy all the time...
we've seen in it movies like pride and prejudice...shakespeare in love...yada yada...
but its like once we passed the 20th century the practice of the curtsy just disappeared...
sooner or later...people aren't going to even know what it is...
its already a fading memory for our generation...
eventually...the future generation will not even know of its existence...
it'll be a word in the dictionary that is never used and never looked up...
so just for D's sake...i'm goin to spread the word....
bring back the curtsy!!!!

gossip

i've been the subject of many gossip sessions these days...
whether i'm involved in a scandal or whether i'm hiding something is being discussed...
am i in love with someone i'm not supposed to be in love with?
why do i seem to dislike certain people?
am i using him?
is she sleeping with him?
i'm used to being analyzed...
having my every move and my every word watched and dissected...

sometimes i wonder why people like to make up stories about others...
is it because life is boring and they need drama...?
is it because they truly believe in those stories...?
is it because they're insecure and having problems of their own that they need to divert the attention elsewhere...?
is it because they secretly envy me...?

i have to admit that i do participate in gossip sessions too...
listening intently as people tell stories about other people...
questioning the authenticity and the truth behind these stories...
and i'd like to believe that i have more common sense than that...
that i would be able to easily distinguish between what's true and what's absurd...
that i won't go around spreading ill rumors about someone or something...
and i hope that others would be able to do the same...

in the end...i don't really care about what people say about me...
its in our nature to dissect the negatives rather than focus on the positives...
no one's going to talk about how smart that person is...or how independent she is...or how creative he is...
its always about scandal...cat fights...bad blood...
and if that makes someone's life more fulfilling...
if it brings excitement into someone's mundane routine...so be it...

until then...

they got it soooo wrong...

You Should Play the Guitar

You're very independent - both in spirit and in the way you learn. You can teach yourself almost anything, even if it makes your fingers bleed. You're not really the type to sit patiently through a music lesson - or do things by the book. It's more your style to master the fundamentals and see where they take you. Highly creative and a bit eclectic, you need a wide range of music to play. You could emerge as a sensitive songwriter... or a manic rock star. Your dominant personality characteristic: being rebellious Your secondary personality characteristic: tenacity

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

on the way back from the mamak...

was in ss2 earlier today and noticed this cybercafe...
their signboard was actually upside down...
is it a gimmick to make them more noticeable since there are so many competitors around?
or is it just bad planning?
then again...this particular cybercafe was closed...
i wonder why....

its back

the durian cake has made a comeback...
i'm hoping it'll last at least till mid october...
come on durians...GROW!!!!!

i lost my marbles

recently i feel lost...
like i have everything but i have nothing....
i'm happy but i'm unhappy...
its strange...
so i spent most of this week in hibernation mode...
reflecting...thinking...trying to pinpoint what the problem is...
and BAM...it hit me...
i need my alone time...
over the past few weeks i haven't had much time alone...
my dad is back from penang...
he's in the house all the time cramping my space...
i'm always out with friends or with my family or out for work...
there's always people around...
so yesterday i decided to do the solitary confinement thing...
and it was great...
went walking around aimlessly in a shopping mall...
had dinner by myself with my ipod turned on to some jazz music and a magazine to read...
came back and did a bourne marathon...with the family though...
but once it was over i managed to squeeze in another dvd...
had my junk food with me...donuts...doritos...coke...ice cream...
made like an upside down vegetable on the sofa...
and when i woke up today i felt completely refreshed...
all i needed was time alone to be myself...
and even though it was only for awhile...i feel brand new :)

happy birthday mindy...
i hope u made it count :)

bourne marathon

did a bourne marathon today...
after watching bourne identity and bourne supremacy again it really makes bourne ultimatum make sense...
the little things that they say...
the things that i've forgotten over the years...

i've watched so many movies over the past one week its giving me a headache...
one sentence movie reviews:

ratatouille - not funny
rogue assassin - mindless entertainment
bourne ultimatum - excellent craftsmanship with fast paced action and suspense
catch and release - typical chick flick
because i said so - another typical chick flick
fracture - so predictable

movies to watch:

grindhouse
knocked up
art school confidential
the science of sleep
the lives of others

so many movies...so little time...
its time to go into hibernation...
movie marathons for a week :)

i've been tagged

i've been tagged...

and instead of sending it to random people on my mailing list i'll just post it here...

THE THINK FAST SURVEY:Don’t think about an answer…just put down the first thing that pops into your head.

1. My ex is still: alive

2. I am listening to: Hans Zimmer Pirates of The Caribbean 3 OST

3. Maybe I should: work hard

4. I love: durian

5. I don’t understand: cantonese

6. I lost: money

7. People say: life goes on

8. The meaning of my screen name is: courtesy of my big brother

9. Love is: sublime

10. Somewhere, someone is: sleeping

11. I will always: tell the truth?

12. Forever seems: too soon

13. I never ever want to: say never

14. My cell phone is: pretty

15. When I wake up in the morning: i smile :)

16. I get annoyed when: people whine

17. Parties are: fun?

18. My pet(s) is(are): non existent

19. Kisses are the best when: they are unexpected

20. Today I: made someone smile

21. Tomorrow I: want to make someone smile

22. I really want: durian

23. I really want to ask: what took you so long?

iPod Touch

oh my oh my...
such beauty...
its time to get me one of these...
now if only i had the money....

shopping for food

i managed to finish tomorrow's work today...
i've got plans to stuff myself silly tomorrow...
durians..donuts...french fries..mashed potatoes..hot dogs..ice cream...
YUMMY!!!!

i'm just going to walk around...
or should i say drive around...
and eat..eat...shop...eat...shop...eat....

i am a klutz

kicking chairs and walking into gates should be the least of my concern...

last night someone decided to swing an iron grill door at me...
well...if i had excellent reflexes and killer balance i would've came out unscathed...
long story short...i've tripped over a bar and fell....

the result: twisted ankle...sore shoulder and a big bruise on my thigh....

oh well...i knew my streak of not getting into accidents would come to an end..
i'm usually a death trap for strange accidents...

i feel like a b****

i feel like a blimp...
i might not look like one but i definitely feel like one right now...

went to 1 utama with my bro and we decided to head to carl's jr for dinner...
on the way there i decided to buy dunkin donuts...
reached carl's jr and ordered my usual western bacon cheeseburger...
ALMOST finished it today...
i still have yet to finish a carl's jr burger all by myself...
after dinner we decided to walk around...
that wasn't a good idea cause i felt like a cow...
i just wanted to sit still and do absolutely nothing...
so we decided to cancel the walking around idea and headed back to the car...
not a good idea once again cause baskin robbins was screaming my name...
how can i resist ice cream?

maybe all this excess food is making me clumsy...
i kicked a stationary wooden chair that probably weighed a tonne...
i knocked into the carl's jr star which by the way was extremely painful cause it was made of solid metal and it was SHARP!!!!
i rammed my shoulder into my gate...
a klutz i am...

inspired

i feel inspired to liberate my cello and violin from the closet....
its been 4 years since i've touched either one of them...
its been a year since i've seriously played the piano...
its time to bring the music back...

on a different note...
day 3 and i've already failed...
what it is i was looking for has completely eluded me...
i've lost sight of what i was hoping to find in the first place...
how can i find something when i don't know what it is??

i think i lack the focus and the determination...
too content and comfortable with the way things are...
oh well...why change when there's nothing wrong?