superman should've never returned

what a disappointing movie. you expect superman to come back with a bang but noooo....

i won't spoil the movie by giving away spoilers and plots. but i just think the whole image of superman has been tarnished for me. he doesn't have much character in this movie...even clark kent doesn't exude any character. is brandon routh following the footsteps of hayden christensen? oh well...i guess the young ones who weren't into the original superman movies wouldn't mind. oh well...brandon routh makes up for it with his 'hotness' but i just realized that it only comes at certain angles.

let's see what pirates of the caribbean 2 has installed for us. can't wait to catch lady in the water and lake house as well. then i'll make my decision on which movie deserves the summer blockbuster award. right now it looks like none of them deserve anything other than a mere mention.

stop taking me literally....again

so my previous post probably posed as a conundrum for some. are you supposed to take me literally? are you supposed to believe that i'm deceitful...that i'm a liar...that i'm sly? or are you not supposed to take it literally?

i'm almost confused myself.....

stop taking me literally

words are just words. people can say things that don't correspond with their actions. they can lie...sugar coat things...speak without thinking...make assumptions. who really knows what's right and wrong...what's true and what's not?

i admit that i say things without thinking about the consequences. sometimes it might something small. my lips will say "no i'm not asleep" but my mind says "yes you fucking woke me up". other times its much bigger than that. i tease...i joke...i flirt...i insult...i criticize...

sometimes i mean what i say...other times i'm just speaking for the sake of being agreeable or opinionated. don't take me literally. i lie through my teeth. i talk about things as if i know what it is i'm talking about but all i'm doing is just speaking with no substance. if you think i know what i'm saying than you are severely wrong and you're probably as clueless as i am.

if you play along...i'll just play along with you. strike a conversation with me and we can go around in circles without really agreeing on anything. so be careful what you say to me...and be careful of what i say to you. most of the time...i don't mean what i say...i just want you to think that i do.

liar liar

24+ years of life and there's so many things i've yet to learn...yet to do...yet to experience. but within these 24+ years there are so many things that i try to forget. where's the logic in that? i know i've done many things in the past that i shouldn't have. made many wrong decisions...hurt many people...made the wrong choices and probably said the wrong things one too many times. i try to block out my past...i call them my dark ages. i do take responsibility for my actions and i'm aware of its consequences.

but even though its long over and years have gone by...things have a funny way of smacking you straight in the face. just when you thought everything is fine...memories and thoughts just manage to creep back in and bite you. nothing is forgotten...at least nothing that is significant can be forgotten. all you can do is accept it and live with it. that's the tricky part...isn't it? but that's the only thing you can do...either that or you could just jump off a building and hope that you either die or end up with head injuries that lead to amnesia.

sometimes you tell people that you're ok. that everything is great and things are going as planned. on certain occasions that would be true but on other occasions it would just be the fattest lie in history. you might believe that you are fine and that things are great but they're not. if you lie to yourself its only logical that you lie to the people around you. its a matter of whether you are aware of the truth that is important. certain people just lie to save themselves the hassle of having to explain and defend themselves. others lie because they don't want to seem weak. then there are those who lie but are not consciously aware of the truth. which one are you?

happy?

someone recently asked me whether i'm happy. i stood still...thinking...reflecting...and at that moment all i could say was "I don't know". do i truly know the meaning of happiness in the first place?

so i'm sitting here reflecting. wondering whether i'm happy. content and happy are always a confusing pair. i am content...there's nothing i can complain about...not even lack of financial security. am i happy with my financial instability? of course not. but does that make me unhappy? i can't say it does. i'm content with my job...although i know i could do so much better. but am i happy with being lazy? of course not...i hate feeling unproductive. but does that make me unhappy? i can't say it does either. there's a lot of things that i'm not happy about but it doesn't make me unhappy. it doesn't take away my love of life and all its wonders.

so i don't know whether i'm happy or not. all i can say is that i'm enjoying myself. i'm glad with the way things are...i know they can be better if i put in a little more effort. but for now...it suffices and if it isn't sufficient...i only have myself to blame.

gambling is a naughty habit

the problem with uncertainty when it comes to soccer is that everthing is uncertain. i was uncertain about the portugal match...thinking "hey..portugal will probably win. question is by how many goals. they'll probably score 1 and play defence." so when the odds were portugal give 1 1/2 i figured i'd just take angola and eat the 1 1/2 hoping that portugal will do exactly as i predicted. then my father lah my brother lah and everything else was screaming portugal portugal. 15 minutes before the game i changed my mind and decided to take portugal instead. look how that turned out for me. crap. during the second half of the match i was so pissed off with portugal that i was secretly hoping that angola would win just to screw with them. i didn't care about my money anymore. i just wanted revenge.

anyway...moral of the story is...make a decision and stick to it. if you're uncertain don't bet. better still...don't bet at all.

world cup fever

i've literally gotten the world cup fever. haven't been feeling too good lately. a combination of sleep deprivation and an unhealthy diet has landed me in a state of nausea. my head feels light...i'm sweating profusely...i constantly feel dizzy...my voice is croaky...my nose is runny...(croaky? runny? not sure if those words exist though).

but it's all in the spirit of world cup. not to say i'm a really huge soccer fan but i do have some money riding on this so it makes the game more exciting. i think the sleepless nights has to stop soon though. monday will come and work beckons. i foresee a lot of people playing truant at work and a lot of people over-sleeping.

bent out of shape

i screwed up today. supposed to have a meeting at 3pm but i WOKE UP at 3pm. if it wasn't for my mom talking on the phone as if the person on the other side was deaf i would have slept through the entire afternoon. sleeping at 10am and waking up at 2pm is not a good idea. stayed up all night brainstorming for a project...then i had to be itchy and organize my disarrayed music collection. when i start organizing stuff (especially dvds and music cds) i kinda lose track of time cause i'm actually having fun. before i knew it the sun was up and when i mean up i mean way up and not the sunrise kinda scene.

i think that's the wake up call i needed to tell me that i'm screwed up. not sleeping and sleeping during the day is going to kill me someday. can't believe i was so irresponsible. i'm never late for a meeting...especially when its for work. time to change things.

went for yoga yesterday and while i was in a compromising pose my arm locked and i couldn't move. so instead of trying to move my arms i figured i should stand up. not a good idea when you're in the middle of a balancing exercise. i kinda slipped and twisted my shoulder. i'm so smart its fantastic :P silly me...such a klutz. anyway...i persevered and went for another class today...which isn't a good idea either. at least the pain is now spread out and not just concentrated on my shoulder. oh well...i'll survive. i'll probably go again tomorrow and make things worse.

missing tv

my biological clock has gone out of whack. people often assume that i don't sleep and truth is i hardly do but when i do fall asleep i'd be comatosed for half the day. i kinda accumulate sleeping hours and use them up one shot instead of the usual 8 hours a day. i'd probably go 2 or 3 days with very minimal sleep and then drop dead for 12 hours to recharge my batteries. i find that i'm more productive that way.

i missed CSI. shucks :P when i was in singapore i used to make sure i get home by 10pm just so i could catch CSI. now that i'm back in kl i've been missing a whole lot of episodes. i guess that just goes to show how lame and lonely i was in singapore. the tv was my only companion. i disappoint myself sometimes though when i stop following my favourite tv shows. i want to watch it...but i always have something to do. doesn't necessarily have to be something better but just anything.

random observation: the other day while i was flipping channels i realized that cinemax was showing tremors 4 and star movies was showing tremors 2 at the same time (it could be the other way around though)

note to self: pilates is not easy. either that or i'm just extremely out of shape. my whole body has been aching ever since monday. doesn't help that i played golf on sunday so my arms and back were already hurting. it hurts when i sneeze and it hurts when i laugh :( maybe its time i went for a massage.