myspacebarisoutoforder

itstimeforachange...

ihavebeendoingalotofreflectinglately...
lookingbackatthepersonthatiwas10yearsago...5yearsago...andnow....
theoneconstantthingisme...
everythingelseistransient...

10yearsagoiwasinapopularitycontest...
nowthatilookbackimusthavebeendeludedintothinkingthatitmattered...

5yearsagoiwasindenial....
iwasinaracetomakeeveryonehappy...
ileftforsingaporetorunawayfromthemadness...

andnow?
ithinkihavelostsightofwhoiam...

itistimetotakemylifeback...
ijusthopeitsnottoolatetosalvagethethingsthatihavescrewedup...

in memory of....

july is not a very good month for me...
it is one that represents loss...
its never easy to lose a loved one...
and it doesn't get easier even after years have gone by....

the memories keep playing themselves in my head...
the last conversation...the laughter...the comfort...and eventually the tears...
we had our moments...even though it wasn't for very long....
it seems as if they were just guest appearances in my life...
they came...they left...and now i'm here and they're not....

at least i have those memories....

i miss u guys....

bizarre love triangle

many people have been asking me what this bizarre love triangle is about....
let me just say that its the title to one of my favourite songs....
the frente version though...not the original new order version....
it doesn't apply to real life like so many people assumed it was....

so far i've got stories about S.T.D+M.D+J.B and everything else in between....
Sexually Transmitted Diseases with a Doctor of Medicine in Johor Bahru....
Managing Director with Short Term Disability named James Bond.....
Jack Bauer drinking Mountain Dew with Severe Tire Damage.....
Musical Director Jack Black Saves The Day

this isn't a triangle...this is more like heptagon....
its funny that 3 little words could spark so many questions....
i wish my life was as dramatic...then i'd have many stories to tell....
but until then....its just a song....

I do admit to myself

That if I hurt someone else

Then we would never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling

I get down on my knees and pray

I'm waiting for that final moment

You'll say the words that I can't say

yummy

Sooooo hot its painful....

so hot it hurts.....

shoes shoes shoes

feefs was bored today....
she came home from dinner and drinks at 2am....
wrote an article...did some copywriting work....replied some emails....
then she found herself thinking about her shoes....
so she decided to line all of them up...clean them and organize them....
yes....ALL OF THEM!!!!!

i don't know what came over me today....
just had the overwhelming urge to organize something....
i organized my wardrobe last week....
my bags are pretty well kept considering i only have 2 or 3 that i regularly use and the rest are just kept aside in a box....
so it was either my shoes or my desk....
i chose shoes over desk probably because there are more surprises when it comes to shoes....

and what are some of the interesting items that i found?

1. a pair of old nike presto's that i haven't worn in a long time
2. a pair of oakley shoes that i've never worn before
3. a pair of classic adidas sneakers that i loved when i was 16 (i shall wear them everyday now)
4. a pair of vans shoes that are 15 years old
5. a pair of "come fuck me" heels that i only wore once (it didn't work)
6. a pair of esprit baby doll shoes that i completely forgot i had (i love those shoes)
7. a pair of leather boots that my mom bought for me when i was 12 (amazingly i can still fit into them)

i should clean more often....
maybe i've got more clothes...shoes and bags lying around that i don't know about....

*note to self* stop shopping...running out of storage space

patriot act

the subject of privacy came up in a conversation i had the other day....
basically we were debating about the importance of privacy....
i personally value my privacy....and i really mean value...
i don't let anyone go through my bags....my wallet...my daily planner....my computer....my emails...my handphone....
someone said its probably because i'm single...
my question was "what does being single have to do with anything???"
it shouldn't make a difference whether i'm single...married...divorced...widowed...lesbian...gay... or anything else in between...
there are just certain things that should be kept private...
not because you have anything to hide.....
but because i believe that regardless of what your marital status is a person should still maintain a life of their own....
everyone needs their own personal space....no???

then the word "trust" came into play....ooh...big word....
by sharing everything with your other half....you are merely declaring that you have nothing to hide...
therefore...your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/mother/father will be able to trust you....
is it just me or does that sound absolutely ridiculous?
trust is not earned by letting other people read your sms's...your emails...your phone book...etc.
if that's the case then yes...i don't trust anyone...and no one should trust me either...

illegalben did mention that its probably because guys have a reputation of being sneaky and snakey.....
so in some ways i can say "you men brought it upon yourself"
but on the other hand...it doesn't justify a breach in privacy....

another handy tool is the friendfinder....
no explanations needed there....

it seems that privacy is now a privilege and not a given....
its like the patriot act has been enforced to all mankind....

"the act increased the ability of law enforcement agencies to search telephone and email communications and medical, financial, and other records"

are we looking for terrorists or cheating partners?

optimus prime

before the launch of transformers there was this really huge banner running across one of the sides of cineleisure saying that there will be a display of the largest classic model of optimus prime in the world....

my initial thoughts was "wow....i wanna see that" cause i am a transformers fan....

next thought was "where the hell are they going to put it?"

if it was the largest in the world its gotta be really huge....no?

i kinda forgot about the whole thing until today when i was at cineleisure having dinner with the girls....

if it was the largest in the world...i probably won't be able to miss it...

its going to be so huge that once i step foot into cineleisure i'd be able to see it immediately...

a giant hunk of plastic/metal/cardboard or whatever it is that they use to make it....

so here it is...the largest classic model of optimus prime in the world....

looks huge leh....

here it is with standing next to sandra...

not so large after all huh....kena con :P

i wonder if it tranforms?

*phews*

despite the sore hands...i ended up fidgeting with the damn thing anyway. and luckily for me...it was a good idea to do so. i finally finished the stupid thing. now i can rest in peace. hands are still sore and i suspect they will be for a couple of days but it was worth it. now i don't have to constantly think about what my next move should be. no more images in my head of rotating colours here and there.

after 72 hours...problem solved.

now i can sleep :)

my hands hurt :(

i have to stop this rubik's cube thing. i woke up and realized that my hands can't take it. it hurts. the cramps have turned into sores. its a sign that i need to stop...at least for a couple of days.

48 hours

this is where i'm at after 48 hours. i still don't know whether i'm doing it right. not sure whether i'm supposed to do it layer by layer. i've been working at this all day until my fingers are cramped. i think i have obsessive compulsive disorder.

someone please take the damn thing away from me. need to work.....

work in progress

so after 24 hours this is as far as i got. sui san...am i doing it right? for those of you who don't know who sui san aka. LOLA is...she's a genius. if i were ever in an amazing puzzle race....i'd wanna have her on my team. we're both so tiny so physical challenges might not be a good idea. she's got the brains...the looks...and the personality. lucky bitch.

rubik's for beginners

someone recently gave me a rubik's cube and its been driving me insane. i love crossword puzzles and sudoku. i love games with words and numbers and puzzles. what i don't like is game with colours. the rubik's cube is crazy. so i went online to find out more about the darn thing and i was led to a website called "rubik's for beginners". reading the damn thing requires a darn dictionary. they have codes for every colour an every face and every turn. the guide is not for the lay men.

but i'm drawn to it. even though it makes me wanna pull my hair out i find myself constantly picking it up. ugh...why can't i stop?

status: not even close to solving anything at the moment.