journal: 19th February 2004 - assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups

i recently had a very interesting session with a couple of friends. we were discussing the topic of relationships and also the difference between men and women. apparently...men seem to think they know us women very well. they know how we're going to react to certain situations...they know how we think...how we feel...how we interpret certain things. i don't even know what we're supposed to be like and they seem to think they have it all figured out. are we women supposed to be the same? are we supposed to think the same way or handle situations the same way? i thought we were all individuals regardless of ethinicity...social standing...upbringing...and gender. but turns out that there is such a thing as a stereotypical man and a stereotypical woman. this is what i've compiled from my years of listening to both sides argue their case.

men are stronger...physically and emotionally. they are less sensitive compared to women...and they tend to be less sympathetic. they are also not allowed to display any signs of weakness in public. they're egotistical and they're always afraid to lose. they believe that they know women inside out but they pretend not to know and are always complaining about how women are such complicated creatures. they believe that they are smarter and more capable than women. they're hypocrites...they talk about compromise but in reality...half of them probably aren't able to grasp the true meaning of the word. they're dishonest when it comes to matters of the heart but trustworthy with secrets. and they believe in cheating but not being cheated on. they say what's on their minds without thinking about the repercussions but that's ok because in that sense they are being honest. they talk about empathy but they don't practice it. men often give up more easily compared to women. they believe in less words and more actions hence they don't like to hear things like 'we need to talk'. they don't believe in changing themselves but would prefer it if the woman changes for them. they often hide jealousy so as to not come off as being insecure and they prefer to hide their troubles rather than to talk about them even though it would affect the relationship.

women are full of emotion and they're not afraid to show it or speak about it. they often interpret things the wrong way and most of the time they blow things out of proportion. they don't take things for what it is and often analyse things a bit too much. they often doubt the sincerity of men and will question his actions and words. women are also known to be hypocrites. they talk about compromise the same way men but the difference between men and women is that women know the meaning of compromise...they just prefer to have things their way. they're honest 9 out of 10 times but they're not trustworthy with secrets as women tend to gossip a whole lot more than men. they think that men are straight forward creatures but sometimes they're thrown off course when a man who's a non-conformist steps in. women more often than not do not believe in cheating and is not likely to tolerate being cheated on either. they say what's on their minds but before they do they analyse it first so as to not hurt the person they're speaking to. they're more empathatic compared to men and they believe in persevering and overcoming obstacles rather than giving up halfway. they believe in talking as a means of gaining trust and strengthening relationships. women believe in change but most of all it has to be mutual. women are very jealous creatures and are more often than not more insecure compared to men.

this is all just heresay. it's just thoughts and opinions i've gathered from all over the place over the years. personally i've never really believed in stereotyping men and women. i always believed that every person is different. i have come across some men who behave like a stereotypical women and vice versa. i have come across other weird individuals that do not fall in either category. i myself don't believe that i am anything like a stereotypical woman. i'm not saying it is wrong to have opinions....but i never liked to be judged based on a general conception. i have to admit that i have some opinions of my own but my opinions aren't usually general ones. my opinions are usually based on individuals. i don't like starting my sentences with things such as "you men are all the same".

but i guess these opinions are general ones and there are probably people who defy the general public. everyone is entitled to their opinions and i guess i am as well. but this is what i've learned over the years....men can be as paranoid as women and women can be as egotistical as men. what men believe women are isn't necessarily right and vice versa. they might just be projecting their shortcomings and paranoia towards others and by stereotyping they might just be creating excuses to justify each others negative traits. nobody is truly who they are most of the time cause most people just try to be accommodating and agreeable. but once again...who am i to know?

on a brighter note....tomorrow is thursday...the day before friday which means i'm one step closer to the weekend.