faking it

recently i was discussing the topic of desperation with a friend. seems a bit too early for people our age to be desperate to be in a relationship. the only thing we should be desperate for at this age is a job with a good income. but that's besides the point...there are people out there in their twenties who are desperate to be with someone. why? aren't we at the prime of our youth? we should be going out there and having fun with what we have instead of pining away about the stuff we don't have.

sometimes i believe people just need the companionship...a certain someone to just be there. he could be standing there as lame as a tree and it wouldn't matter...as long as he's there. but if that is the case...what are friends for? in my opinion...one lousy relationship is worthless but one great friendship is priceless. so why not just go out there are make friends rather than to hunt down guys in hopes that you'll find one to fill up the gap? and some of them literally do hunt. they go to places where there's high chances of meeting single or in some cases...not so single but unfaithful guys. they always have to look and behave their best around new company. they try so hard to adapt...to fit in...to be accepted. i personally think it's too much of an effort and it gets tedious after awhile.

other people just need the affirmation. they need to validate their worth and apparently... being in a relationship is sufficient enough to prove to the world that they're worth something. i pity the people who suffer from low self esteem. if you're not confident with yourself...who will be? i'm not saying that everyone should go out there and boast confidence. i know my limits..i know what i can do and what i can't...i don't know what i can get and what i can't. being in a relationship does not give me the ISO stamp of approval or in our case...the SIRIM chop. i see many good people who are in dead end relationships...relationships that are not worth the time and effort and the only reason they're not getting out of it is because they're afraid to be alone.

then there's the type of people who are in relationships because everyone else is in one. it's back to school time where everyone just had to have an eastpak bag cause all the cool people were using it. i know being a 500W lamp post isn't funny. i've definitely been there and it is (more often than not) uncomfortable. but i don't expect it to be any less than uncomfortable.

so they fake it. and i'm not talking about faking an orgasm or pretending to like your other half's cooking. i'm talking about faking full blown relationships. you pretend that you're happy....lie through your teeth when you say 'i love you'....sometimes even change your appearance and style to suit your pseudo relationship. why bother? all that hard work and effort? i thought relationships were supposed to be effortless and things should just come naturally. is it worth all the trouble?

there's this thing i'd like to call the 'sex and the city' syndrome. it's a disease by which women assume that they have an expiry date which so happens to be somewhere between their late twenties and early thirties. they also take the advice and opinions of the show seriously. they try to relate their heartbreak with the show...using it as therapy. i'm not saying that it doesn't help...maybe it does. but sometimes i wonder whether some of them can differentiate between fiction and reality. a friend once said that once a person watches a show religiously....it's almost as if the characters in the show are real and that they're your friends.

we're in our twenties...has it come to a point that we should be afraid of how people perceive us to be? yes...i have to admit that being single can get a bit lonesome and monotonous sometimes but in the event that it does...i choose to go out and have fun with the people i can truly count on...my friends.

movie watch:

Saw II was a good watch. slightly different from the first one but equally as sadistic and gory as the first. but heck...movies like these will never be screened in our country cause it's too much for our 'fragile morals'...that's if we had any in the first place.

finally caught Narnia yesterday. it's a big slow at the beginning....but i still liked it cause i'll always be a fan of the lion the witch and the wardrobe. see whether you can spot an accidental reference to last samurai.

latter days was an interesting watch too. it's about a gay guy trying to convert a straight mormon guy on a bet. never knew mormon's are not allowed to use their first names. doesn't it get confusing sometimes. like if my family were mormons....all the guys in the family would be called 'elder ling'. how'd you know which one you're referring to?


have a wedding dinner to attend this weekend. unfortunately, it's a family wedding. which means i'll have to behave and dress nice. the brothers and i haven't exactly had a good reputation with the rest of the relatives. we're the black sheep of the 'ling' family. actually...i think it's more of me that's the bad influence. it rubbed off on the rest of the family i suppose. so i guess my brothers and i will find a nice little corner away from the nauseating polite-ness and fake smiles and we'll do what we do best. play word games.